Relationships are difficult. Everyone knows this. Most people think it’s because of money, sex, kids, work, or whoever buys the socks. Some people think it’s because “we’re just not into each other” Or because we don’t have enough in common.
Look, it’s not because of you or he or she. In fact, there is nothing more difficult on the planet than someone else.
Think about it… We are all difficult. We all come to a new relationship that we want easy. But we also come with our shared section of unresolved and traumatic experiences from previous relationships.
Between love and work, Love is by far the most complex and challenging. Most of it is due to our automatic nervous reactions.
Let’s start with your beautiful cortical regions. For the sake of simplicity, let’s call them your ambassadors. Your Ambassadors are very smart and thoughtful, but slow and they are very expensive to run. They are good at planning, anticipating, organizing and speaking.
And to be honest, they are very good at making “mute” situations. When you think of reason, think of ambassadors.
The subcortical regions of your brain, let’s call them primitive They are very fast, memory-intensive, automatic, and low in operating costs. They are involved in love and sex, as well as a sense of threat. By searching for dangerous faces, sounds, gestures, moves, sdd to dangerous words and phrases. When you think hit and run you are thinking of using primitives.
Thanks to your beginnings, 99% of your day is automatic. Your ambassadors love to renew. But they must pass on the innovations to your primitives in order to conserve resources. You can’t live your day with your Ambassadors always at their full capacity. It will burn your brain!
So primitives use something called procedural memory known as: body memory. It works like this: You are learning to ride a bike and in the beginning. your ambassadors and beginners are fully functional to learn this new skill. But very soon, your beginnings will automate the bike riding process without the need for your ambassadors.
The bike riding skill goes into procedural memory Very elaborate, right? Now you’re falling in love with someone, and again, your mind starts working. You want to know everything about him. You want to touch them, taste them, smell them, you just can’t get enough of them.
You are under the influence of drugs. Natural drugs produced in your brain!
- Addicted to dopamine because you want more of that person.
- Addicted to noradrenaline for your need to stay focused and alert.
- You need testosterone and you know why you need it.
- And serotonin, just to be persistent and alert.
You are addicted to neurochemicals.