Communication, memory, perception are all error prone. Human communication, even on a good day, is bad. We often get each other wrong.
When we’re feeling good, we don’t really care. When we’re not feeling good, we really care. When stress increases, human communication becomes much worse. Memory is unreliable. Memory is his fault. And in a quarrel about who is correct, both of you are often wrong.
Your perceptions are like mirrors of a fun house. Your perceptions are constantly being modified by your state of mind and your memory. They always trick you. If we assume that our communication, our memory, our perceptions, is the fixed truth, this is arrogance, and it will lead to problems.
If you are in a corrupt relationship, you have to get out. I am not talking about big threats. I am only talking about small threats that every human encounters as they quarrel. The kind that we have to deal with day in and day out.
When we meet, we immediately start the quarrel. But why are our fights getting out of control? It’s because real time is so fast. And when we feel threatened, we respond and when we do, we respond using our primitives.
In fact, our ambassadors have no idea how we got to this stage This is what makes us say, “Shut Up!” “I’m right, damn it!” “This proves my point.” And you really have no idea what you’re talking about, but you speak with confidence.
No angels, no demons here. We are all capable of being threatening, even if it is for those we love. We can make big mistakes on communication, memory, and perception. All of us. The decision that puts us in a relationship we are committed to love and security.
We both protect each other from the dangers outside. It’s not just about getting our own way. We are supposed to support each other. Too many relationships end before their time is up because people cannot understand this simple concept.